#MiddleSchoolMicdUp

Running sound for an elementary and middle school Christmas program.
Some of the kids are mic'd up.
Here are just some of the things said backstage.

"Oh man that's a suuuuper small mic."
"Yeah but it sure packs a mighty big punch!"

"What if he turned our mics on right now?"
"Oh man, we would be laughingstocks forever."

 "These kids are so immature. They touch everything"

"Ugh this belly is so itchy and awkward."

"Is this on? I don't think mine is on? What does it look like when they are on? Is yours on? Is mine on?"

One of the kids is here early. He is running laps around the sanctuary to use up some energy.

The girls are playing oboshinatintatin. A boy is playing with slightly different words.
Hobo is fartin' tootin'

"Gurl you look so cute"
"Yeah, you look like a mermaid."

"What if they forget to turn our mics off. We will have a solo in every song."

"I've got butterflies"
"Dude. Just go out there and nail it."

I don't want to go out there. I don't want to go out there. I don't want to go out there. I don't want to go out there.

I get a star sticker, because I am a STAR! 

Do they die? No, they are completely tough. 

What's your name? tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me tell me 

I don't care about losing because I never lose. 

How can I mispronounce your name? 

Plural. Like cats. 

I forgot. That was 87 million years ago... 

Why do you have no sense of fashion?
I am going to need a lot of plaid.

I need rows and rows of pretty bows.

Keep doing this. Our arms are going to be so red.

You broke his manger!!!
I didn't know that was going to happen.

You keep getting further away from me...?

Can you please tie my shoe? Because I can't with my mic.
I can't smile either.

He can hear everything you say.
He posts it... just the funny stuff.
(They are onto me. but it doesn't stop them from talking.)

You look so good; you look like Charlie Chaplin. I look like Charlie Chaplin if he had a bigger mustache.

Check out my microphone.
Where are the buckles on that thing?
It doesn't have any buckles.

I feel like I forgot everything in my entire life.

You already act like a grandpa you need to talk like one too.

Itchy doesn't even begin to describe it.

Whoever solves the mystery gets everything in my will.

Boy: Who farted? Did you rip one?
Girl: Oooh, Chocolate flavored.

Does this fanny pack clash with my parachute pants?

I hate turtle necks. Its like they are trying to choke you.

Girl 1: Did everyone decide on dances while I was gone?
Girl 2: It doesn't matter. Just dance... but be sure to bop your head.

I wouldn't break it right before the play... we can break it after.

This is so stressful... how do you decorate a tree?

I'm surprisingly not nervous now, but I'll be nervous later.

I'm not nervous... I just need to pee.

I want to see you dance... Autobots Rollout.

I have a feeling that this is going to fall and it is going to look like I'm laying an egg.

Boy 1: Why are you whispering?
Boy 2: So they can't hear me right now.

Did you know that Olaf is 5'4"... That means everyone else in Frozen is like 11' tall.

Girl: What are you doing?!? Get out there!
Boy: I'm not even in this scene...
Boy: Oh wait...

I don't have my clipboard... because I don't know where it is.

What do we do if it all gets stuck together?
You just... hope it doesn't.

I dare you to start rapping.

stop laughing
...
stop laughing
...
stop laughing
[editor's note: no laughing was audible on any microphones]

It looks like there is bodies in there.
Was there a murder?

If I do this I look even more biblical.

He better not turn on our mics, we are talking about private stuff.

I memorized 59 paragraphs, just like my father.

I can become one with the batman

Get it off! Get it off!

Can I have a sticky note to write wood?
So I can remember the wood.

Oh that really blended in.
Yeah that's why you don't put green ornaments on a green tree.

My microphone was vibrating because he had me so loud.

Is it "dum" or is it "duh"?
It's "dum"... duh!

Would you like to go to caverns?
Dark Caverns?
More like Dork Caverns.

I put lipstick on and my lips are so dry, like an acorn.

I think he just learned the word translucent. He says it a lot.

When you flush the toilet it makes an earthquake.

Is he tiny? Does he look like a baby doll?

I did so bad.
Yeah, if bad means good.

Some… body once told me
[proceeds to sing the entirety of “All Star” by Smashmouth]

Wisemen and friends…
Oh, you must be one of the friends.

What are you guys doing? This is really heavy.

We can lounge?

Are you dead?
Ya. You?

We need to work on the part where we bow so it actually looks like we are bowing.

My hair is… like… attached.

It’s so sweaty, like a mole. I am literally dying of thirst.

Does anyone have any elk?

It is visible.
Like, SO SO visible.

Have you ever felt your armpits rub so much?

Ooh couches. Parkour.

Guys, they can all hear you… us.

I’m going first because I cherish it the most.

We can take off our shoes, right?

What about my head?
It’s PERFECT!

You should hide during the first scene, but make sure they can see you hiding.

What if it's not strawberry cheesecake?

If you've done it once then you've done it every time.

I'm afraid to do this.
You're priceless.

What if you drank an invisibility potion?

There is a hole in your shirt.
Duh! That's where my head comes out.

Pin the tail on the donkey.
STAB! STAB! STAB!

Mustard and Pizza Bagels!

As soon is my mic is off of me I'm gonna fart so hard.

I feel intimidated.
Just think you are doing it for God.

[While walking onto the stage]
We don't go this way.
Yeah we do.
I swear if you mess us up...

Why are you trying to hit the button?
It's a button, you hit buttons.

I never rip a band-aid off. No, stop. No, stop. I can do it. I can do it.